Feeling Stuck in Life? Then Let’s Turn it Around

If there’s one thing I am quite good now is that I can turn my thoughts into action. If an idea pops into my head, I contemplate it for a while, see if it’s achievable, and then right there and then plan on how to make it happen.

Note that I am not like this a few years ago. I don’t consider myself as adventurous nor a go-getter. I might be a dreamer but I don’t have any clue of what I want to do. Maybe I want to migrate to another country, or have my own business. I want to achieve something but no idea what is that ‘something’.

And this state of not knowing what to do or where to go is actually the main reason why people feel the plateau.

 

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I was really depressed in 2015. Not depress that I’m taking medication but depress enough to cry over traffic, cry over thinking of my children, cry over overtime at work, cry over not having 8 hrs of sleep.

I thought it was the workplace that was making me sad so I resigned and moved to a new company. I was even promoted after less than a year in the organization.

But I’m still depressed. I feel stuck.

That’s when I realized that the issue was not really the companies I’ve worked for. It’s not the bosses or my colleagues. It’s ME.

But what can I do? I can’t really change my circumstances immediately. Many things are out of my hand. I wanted to be a rich stay-at-home mom (note that I have to mention rich – haha! Because I still want to earn my own moolah while at home and taking care of the kids) but working from home, I thought, was not an option for me.

After several months of being depressed, I came across the book The Secret. I may not agree with everything that the book says but if there’s one big takeaway I got from it is one should Ask and Believe.

It brought so much realization that I had an immediate shift of mindset. I started by forgiving myself. As much as my kids are my strength, they are also my weakness. And I had to settle to the fact that I can’t be with them 24/7. I’m doing my best and that’s enough for now.

From there, I also took actions. What can be improved immediately? I started a weekly menu of their school snack and actively prepared in the morning. It was a task that immediately made me feel in control.

I then decided that if my plan is to be a rich stay-at-home mom then I shouldn’t wait for my husband to be the next Lucio Tan. Besides my goal is to retire my husband too! So the road to Freedom 2020 started.

“We might find ourselves being in a dark place, but we have a choice to get out of it”

Most people feel being stuck. Life just became a chore. It’s repetitive, boring and totally un-inspiring. Luckily, being an introvert, I am very much self-aware. Identifying that I’m depressed, I know I have to do something to get out of that dark hole. That’s when my desire to have my own business kick-in.

This was in 2015. Now after almost 3 years, I have ventured into several projects while still having a full-time daytime job. It ain’t easy to be honest. There are lots of late nights, I am still missing few of my kids school meetings and activities, I would sometimes reach home physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Sometimes I give in and won’t do anything and just sleep. Some days are more productive than others.

I think the real key is not to beat ourselves up. Don’t try to be everything for everybody. Accept that you have limitations. Give yourself the permission to fail, to get tired, to be sad, to cry. You might find yourself in a dark place and don’t feel guilty for being there. Besides you won’t really feel real joy if you haven’t felt deep pain.

Our anxiety, depression, stress and sadness affects our health. All these emotions weakens our immune system and can cause inflammation. Once you start feeling these negative physical reactions to your body, remember that its the result of allowing ourselves to be in a bad state longer than usual. Snap out of it!

If you a regular reader of The Wealthy Pinay, I am very much sure that you are a strong, independent woman (or man). You dream to achieve more, not only financially but in all aspects of life. I know these because only dreamers, positive thinkers, determined and strong-willed personalities enjoy reading my blog.

And I’m very much confident that you are smart and strong enough to identify when you need to snap out of your dark hole. At the end of the day, it’s only you who can help yourself. Family members or dear friends can try but they won’t be able to unless you help them help you.

Remember that you are in control

The feeling of being stuck in a situation, bad relationship or painful past stems from the idea that we cannot do anything about it. This is how life is and we just have to suck it up. So we wake up every morning, drag ourselves to whatever activity that is expected of us to accomplish, finish the day and then go to bed. We do this repeatedly until we get burned out. Sadly, this is where most people stay.

The best defense to fight this feeling? Say aloud  – I AM IN CONTROL!

Our problem can be big or small depends on how we want it to be. Lost your job? Others might just shrug then look for another one while few get depressed for months. Personally, whenever I feel down, I just think of all the good things I’m blessed with and plan how can I improve areas in my life that I’m not so happy about.

I AM IN CONTROL. I have control of my mind. I have control of what I do with my body. I have control of my reactions. Say this repeatedly whenever you need the boost.

At the end of the day, we have control of the things we allow into our life. Remember that.

Help yourself

Even if our loved ones try, they won’t be able to help us if we won’t allow them. In the end there’s no other person who can get us out of the black hole than ourselves. What actions can we do then?

• PRAY 

I am not religious (meaning I don’t go to church often and I don’t really practice my religion) but I am very spiritual. I talk to God when I’m sad. I thank him often for small things. Being positive is really having a big faith that everything will be fine.

• TALK

We can’t be strong all the time. We might love the idea that we’re superwomen and can do everything but reality is we have limitations and showing vulnerability doesn’t mean we are weak. And during these moments that we feel most vulnerable that it will be good to pick up the phone or meet up for coffee with your mom, sister or any special loved one.

• WRITE

Writing in my journal helps me tremendously during my lowest points. I’m able to put my emotions into words and gives some kind of relief. Some people wants to talk about their emotions, I prefer to write. Do whatever works for you.

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“What can I do today to change my situation?”

Answer this question whenever you find yourself sad. It’s a very powerful question that will force you to think. Maybe the initial reaction of your brain is to say ‘NOTHING! You’re stuck into this doom for a long time!”.

Do you honestly believe that? Deep down I know you don’t.

What can you do today to get out of your debt?
What can you do today to lower your cholesterol?
What can you do today so you can be ready to resign next year?

We don’t need to do any dramatic changes. Start with one simple act today. 

What can you do today to get out of your debt? Start with a decision that you won’t spend anything today. Want to take taxi because you’re tired and feel you deserve it anyways? No. Today, you will commute.
What can you do today to lower your cholesterol? It’s just extra half cup rice, you deserve it right? No. Today you will refuse taking more than 1 cup.
What can you do today so you can be ready to resign next year? You are doing it now at this moment. Read encouraging and positive articles and books that feed your brain and your soul.  

Make these simple actions today and everyday, repeatedly.

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Whatever you are feeling right now, I hope you find the courage to go forward and take action. As always, I would appreciate if you can share this post because sharing is caring 🙂 

And lastly, remember this: You deserve the life you truly want.