November 8, 2016, the day I wore a mismatched shoe. And no, I didn’t remember the date because of some life-changing event. I just happen to post it on Instagram and it’s now there to be memorialized.
Do you know what’s remarkable though? I only noticed it around 7 pm that day. I was inside the elevator, leaning against the wall, staring mindlessly at the elevator buttons while patiently waiting to reach my floor. I was exhausted and doing some mental notes of the things I still needed to do. I looked down for a second and noticed my mismatched shoes. What the hell?!!?
I spent the entire day in the office, running around like a hamster, had lunch, and chat with at least a dozen people yet I didn’t notice that I was wearing a mismatched shoes. None of my colleagues noticed either.
And that made me think…
1. No one is paying attention
Everyone is busy starring in their own life story that they wouldn’t notice others’ small issues. They’re obsessed with their own lives so you shouldn’t worry if you screw up a little bit or you’re not yet where you want to be. No one cares if you don’t have 1k likes on Facebook yet, or ate a donut when you’re supposed to be on a Keto diet.
Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes. Don’t worry of what other people think.
I know a lot of people who bring up their small blunder or insecurities even when no one is noticing. Real life example: when writing a cover letter, some candidates start their introduction with, “I don’t have experience with project management but I’m good in…..”
I mean, babe, you don’t need to point out that you lack experience. Your interviewer might not even notice it but here you are enumerating what you lack…
Most of the time, we’re the one who beat ourselves up:
“Hindi ako graduate ng college.”
“Mahirap lang kami.”
“Ang dami kong pimples.”
Key takeaway: You can choose to be an empowered person or a disempowered victim ng sarili mong teleserye ng buhay. How you see yourself is the same way others will see you. You have the power to choose.
2. You won’t care about it later
That day, sobrang laking issue ng may suot akong mismatched shoes. How embarrassing!!! Lalo pa siguro kung napansin ko sya nung umaga. Baka hindi na ko tumayo sa upuan ko.
But you know what? Aside from the fact that no one cares, nung nasa bahay na ko, naisip ko, so what? Hindi naman ako namatay. Hindi naman ako matatanggal sa work. Hindi naman ako mapupunta sa hell.
Ask yourself this question, “Six months from now, will I even care?”
Chances are your answer is no.
So please let go.
Don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t spend your energy scrutinizing what went wrong.
Don’t relive the moments over and over in your head.
Think about this, what were your worries 6 months ago? Chances are 99% of it, hindi mo na maalala. See the point?
Key takeaway: If people don’t reply back or you said a wrong thing or you made a blunder, ask the question, “6 months from now, will I care about this?” It’s a waste of energy to focus on what went wrong when in fact it doesn’t really matter in your life.
3. What have you learned?
I always believed that the Universe is telling us something when these things happen. If you pay attention and slow down, do you hear the message? Maybe you need to slow down or speed up. Maybe you have to care more or care less. Maybe you need to value your health/finances/family/self more. What have you learned from your mistake?
Key takeway: If you messed up a presentation, maybe you need to spend more minutes practicing. If you said something you regret, you may want to count from 1-10 before responding. Whatever it is, instead of beating ourselves up from it, it’s better to think,
“How can I avoid this in the future? Can I do something about it?” Instead of being reactive, be proactive.
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Hit the reply button and let me know, have you done any mistakes and you’re still suffering from regret and shame? Maybe sharing your feelings with others might help you. You can talk to me 🙂
